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assumed 'tags' in /websites/forum2008/viewthread.php(601) : regexp code on line 2 Notice: Use of undefined constant tags - assumed 'tags' in /websites/forum2008/viewthread.php(601) : regexp code on line 2 管教寶寶 11 種容易犯下的疏失 - 親子 - 噓!論壇 _ 無忌的論壇 ~ 歡迎芝麻小事,別聊國家大事 ~

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管教寶寶 11 種容易犯下的疏失

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管教寶寶 11 種容易犯下的疏失

[B][color="Lime"]1 媽媽為什麼那麼凶? [/B]

3歲的小可是一個活潑又可愛的叫、女孩。有一天,媽媽帶她去小表弟家裡玩。小可在和表弟小威玩遊戲的時候,一時興起就拿積木敲了小威的頭,小威立即哭了起來。媽媽一看這種情況,立刻厲聲斥責:「你以後再打弟弟,媽媽就狠狠揍你一頓,叫你牢牢記住!看你以後還敢不敢欺負弟弟。」小可一聽媽媽這麼凶,立刻沒了笑容……

[B][color="DarkRed"]專家解說: 不要嚇唬寶寶[/B]

恐嚇會減弱寶寶的自我觀念,讓寶寶變得軟弱,每當這個時候,寶寶很容易產生不安難過的情緒,甚至發展為怕父母和憎很父母。所謂嚇唬,是在事前就想糾正未來的行動,可是寶寶的意識只有現在才有效,所以嚇唬起不了什麼作用。所以教育和管教最好當場進行,而不要對寶寶進行恐嚇。但是不要混淆了「嚇唬」和「禁止」的概念,對於寶寶不能超越的界限和明確應該禁止的事,也可以打幾下屁股,必須教育他說「不行」。



[B][color="lime"]2 「你怎麼這麼笨?」[/B]

軍軍2歲半了,是全家人的心肝寶貝。望子成龍的爸爸就常常對他進行早期智力教育,例如數數啦、畫畫啦,有時候,軍軍反應慢了一些,爸爸就很是恨鐵不成鋼。於是就說一些諸如:「你怎麼這麼笨啊?」之類的話。每當這時,軍軍就不免感到不知所措了……

[B][color="darkred"]專家解說: 不要輕視寶寶[/B]

像「你怎麼這麼笨?」這一類瞧不起寶寶的話,很多父母也許時不時就會冒出一兩句。雖然這也許不是家長的本意,但是,久而久之就會把寶寶的自我意識糟蹋得一塌糊塗了。每一個家長都望子成龍、望女成風,但是天才不是一天就能造就的,讓寶寶在遊戲、學習中獲得快樂就可以了。更不能動不動就挫傷寶寶的自信心,這樣只能適得其反。



[B][color="lime"]3 「給你買玩具......」 [/B]

媽媽帶3歲的小星去超市買東西,看見小星很好動,動不動就隨便摸弄超市貨櫃上的瓶瓶罐罐。媽媽很頭痛,於是就忍不住這樣對小星說:不准亂摸東西,你做個好孩子,媽媽就給你買你最喜歡的玩具。」……

[B][color="darkred"]專家解說: 不要收買寶寶[/B]

這並不是駕馭寶寶的高明方法。要教育寶寶懂得自我培育,自我克制,尊重他人的權利,這樣做並不能達到預期的效果。這樣收買的結果,只能把動機由內因變成外因。也就是寶寶由自發努力得到自我滿足和積極自我,變成單純靠外部的獎品才願意自我克制。收買與賄賂只能短期地轄制別人,而不能最終解決問題。



[B][color="lime"]4 「我就要這樣嘛!」[/B]

2歲的皎皎是家裡人的心頭肉,尤其是爺爺奶奶,對皎皎更是疼愛有加。有時候,皎皎在家裡稍不順心,就對大人大吼大叫,常常說:「我就要這樣嘛!」每當父母想要管教時,都被爺爺奶奶這樣制止了「小孩子嘛,不要和孩子計較。」……

[B][color="darkred"]專家解說: 不要放任寶寶放任[/B]

在許多家長心裡其實就是寵愛,追根究底,放任寶寶的家長就是不想對寶寶說「不可以」,不嚴格執行規矩。這會使寶寶覺得,所有的規矩都是很有彈性的,拉得夠用力,就伸展得很寬。其實,這只有在家裡還行得通,不過寶寶遲早要投入外面的世界,在那裡他將得到沉痛的教訓。放任寶寶的實質就是剝奪寶寶盡量發展潛能的機會,阻礙他成為能幹、獨立以及能自我調節的人。



[B][color="lime"]5 「非要這樣不可嗎?」 [/B]

佳佳媽對2歲半的佳佳照顧得無微不至,但是,佳佳常常很不開心。媽媽每次吩咐佳佳做什麼事,都用強迫的口吻「佳佳,現在要吃飯了,不許玩了。」「佳佳,馬上上床睡覺。」……久而久之,佳佳心中不免產生了這樣的疑惑:怎麼回事,媽媽,我非要這樣不可嗎?

[B][color="darkred"]專家解說: 不要強迫寶寶盲目服從[/B]

如果你的丈夫對你這樣說話「喂,放下你手邊的事,馬上給我拿杯茶來。」你的心裡會是什麼滋味?一定不好受吧。其實,當你對寶寶說:「立刻停止現在做的事,馬上做這個事。」的時候,寶寶心裡的感受也是一樣。向寶寶吩咐做事之前,最好還是留有一些餘地。你可以這樣說:「佳佳,再過幾分鐘就要吃飯了,準備一下吧。」盲目服從,用在寶寶身上其實並不合適,因為你是在培養一個獨立的、能自己管理自己的人,而不是一個事事聽命於你的木偶人。



[B][color="lime"]6 「保證做個好孩子......」[/B]

有一次,小米和媽媽去公園裡玩,玩得高興時,她就自己趴在泥地上了。媽媽很生氣,還發了脾氣:「小米,向媽媽保證,以後再也不要這樣了,聽見沒有!」小米也知道是自己不好,於是乖乖地向媽媽保證,下次一定不會再犯了。可是沒過幾天,同樣的事件又一次發生了,媽媽更生氣了:「幾天前,你不是向媽媽保證過嗎?」……

[B][color="darkred"]專家解說: 不要跟寶寶計較真假[/B]

其實,對於兩三歲的寶寶來說,所謂保證,實在是沒有任何意義的。這就和嚇唬他—樣,未來的事,對一個只顧眼前的寶寶來說,太勉強了。因為對於寶寶來說,當他做了保證而沒有做到時,要麼會因為破壞了保證而被罪惡感所困擾,要麼反而變本加厲。



[B][color="lime"]7 「今天媽媽怎麼生氣了」[/B]

小北今天很委屈,因為昨天他把牛奶倒在地上,媽媽一點也沒有生氣。可是,今天媽媽卻因為同樣的事打了他。為什麼同樣的行為,所帶來的後果是完全不同的呢?為什麼媽媽昨天不生氣而今天會這麼生氣?

[B][color="darkred"]專家解說: 不要使用沒有定性的規則[/B]

星期一,媽媽心情很舒暢,寶寶破壞了一切規章她也不批評。可是,星期二,寶寶做的是和昨天一樣的事,媽媽卻像吃了火藥一樣地斥責他。像這樣沒有一定規章的管理,就像是沒有一定規章的交通信號一樣危險。一會兒紅燈行,一會兒又是綠燈行,你說該怎麼辦呢?要教會寶寶應該怎麼做,在管教中沒有一貫性和信賴性是不行的。沒有定性的規則比沒有規則,更糟糕。



[B][color="lime"]8 「我不敢......」[/B]

小小已經3歲多了,可是,媽媽還是把她當作一個小嬰兒一樣,事事關心,事事操心。小小在媽媽的羽翼之下,顯得比同齡的孩子更加膽小,什麼事情都躲在媽媽身後,就連吃飯這樣的小事,都要媽媽在旁邊才能安安分分地吃完……

[B][color="darkred"]專家解說: 不要過度保護、照顧寶寶[/B]

過度的保護會斷送寶寶的自我觀念,因為當父母過度保護寶寶的時候,他們就是傳遞給寶寶這樣一個觀念:你不能自己照顧自己,我必須為你料理一切。大多數父母對自己照料自己的能力毫無信心,其實有一句話實在很重要,那就是「只要孩子自己能做,決不要越俎代庖。」



[B][color="lime"]9 「為什麼不行?」 [/B]

2歲半的小美和爸爸媽媽去飯店吃飯,爸爸媽媽要求她做一個有規矩的小孩,坐在椅子上不要東張西望,不許跑來跑去,不許把飯掉在桌子上,不許……小美很不適應,她覺得這樣實在很不好玩,為什麼不許呢?

[B][color="darkred"]專家解說: 不要訂立不適合寶寶年齡的規矩[/B]

假如你希望2歲的寶寶能夠像5歲的孩子一樣循規蹈矩,這只會使他覺得無所適從。因為你對他的要求是他的年齡不可能達到的行為水準,這對他自我觀念的形成有極壞的影響。寶寶個人行為能力的發展是受年齡限制的,階段性的發展是不能跳躍進行的。



[B][color="lime"]10「我不是說過不准嗎?」[/B]

媽媽對小浩說:「不要爬那個椅子。」可是小浩不聽。這時候媽媽又說:「小浩,我不是說不准爬那個椅子嗎?」孩子還是無動於衷,繼續往上爬。他對媽媽的話絲毫不感興趣,還是繼續爬……

[B][color="darkred"]專家解說: 不要有口無心地發號施令[/B]

其實,這位媽媽只是口頭在說「不准」,實際上並沒有採取任何阻止寶寶爬椅子的措施。照這樣,沒有一點兒作用。這不是在教寶寶無視媽媽的希望和命令嗎?為了不成為適得其反的管教,無論是不是出於本心,都請你不要這樣提出要求和下達命令。



[B][color="lime"]11 「你怎麼能做出這樣的事?」[/B]

3歲的小樂和媽媽去姑姑家玩,回家的時候,媽媽發現小樂竟然一聲不吭地把姑姑家裡的小擺設帶回家了。這下可把媽媽氣壞了,媽媽對小樂不停地數落:「你這樣做是不對的,不是乖孩子,媽媽這麼愛你,你怎麼做出這樣的事情來,我是作了什麼孽,你才會做出這樣的事……」

專家解說: 不要用教條式的、引發罪惡感的教育方式

每天都有無數父母對他們的寶寶發表冗長的、教條式的演說,如果用錄音機偷偷地把父母的這種疲勞轟炸錄下來,再放給他們自己聽,他們一定會對自己教訓兒女的語言感到大為震驚。錄音機裡錄下的將不只是教條式的演說,還有大聲咆哮、斥責以及取笑。那麼,寶寶會怎麼樣呢?是虛心接受嗎?當然不會。他能做出的惟一反應只能是充耳不聞。他學會了置身事外,同時對一切父母的話本能地產生反感情緒。
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我是小鹿

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感謝鹿媽咪的分享^^
打包了~~
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